Pretty on the Inside

The past year has taught me a lot about myself.
I now know that I put a lot of my self worth in my intelligence, and the friends I had. So when my intelligence was disregarded and questioned, and when I had to move thousands of miles away from my friends,
I felt entirely worthless.

I've had a year to be sad. But now I think this it is time for that page to turn, and for me to refresh my thoughts and values. It's time to rewire and re-prioritize. I think it's time to find out what I am worth.
Finally.

In Het Netherlands

It wasn't until I moved back to Europe that I really got to see Nigeria. How the people act, how they speak, how the same recipes taste and look different. It's been a sort of an ironic culture shock, because while both my parents are Nigerian, they never raised us traditionally. When I moved back to Europe without the comfort of having my family around, my eyes opened fully. I was seeing, hearing and experiencing it all at once. Suddenly I had all of this new work to do as a "grown woman." Suddenly people came over and gave me food without me having to ask. Suddenly I was my uncle's "daughter" instead of his "niece." Suddenly, way older men started hitting on me, and coming on stronger than I was used to. It was all very...concentrated. Even though much of my first months here weren't pleasant, I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. Into the deep end I flew, damn near drowned, and yet somehow came up for air.

Missin' Home

It's almost 4 a.m. and I can't sleep. Feeling pretty homesick. I miss you Matt.